Friday, December 18, 2015

Prepare the Spelunkers


Had a colonoscopy earlier today. The prep before hand was a blast! (get it? a "blast"... see what I did there?) It went as well as you could expect laying on your side in a room full of people, naked but partially covered, and having tubes with "live action/real-time" cameras stuck into your orifices would go. (I was assured that the videos will not be posted, despite their potential of going viral.)

Things were found, removed and sent to "the lab" ... (Jimmy Hoffa was not among them. Presumably that search continues elsewhere. There were also no WMDs. The Department of Homeland Security has been notified.)

Results in 2 weeks. The doctor was unconcerned, so that is what I am as well.

Thanks to my friend Jeff for picking me up at the hospital, and then joining me afterwards in having my first solid food in two days. (And also for not mocking me when I ate every single thing on my plate ... and some from his. Though he did tell me not to eat the plate, so I guess there was some mocking. Meanie.)

I started to feel poorly almost immediately after eating and Jeff dropping me at my hovel, which got worse as time passed - a massive headache in particular. After spending most of the remaining day with it, I checked in with the doctor, and was assured that it was not because my head was removed from my colon. (So there.)

Just a reaction to coming out of the anesthesia, related "physical disturbances" recovery - something that varies both by person and event - and one that will pass with rest and liquids. Dosed with headache medication, did some serious napping, and am starting to feel better.

So, that was my day. And you thought yours was a pain in the ass ... (Okay, yes, that was an obvious joke. Whatever.)

Now it's off to the couch, to Netflix and recover, curled up with the pups. No pink plastic gloves required.




updated somewhat from original version written earlier in 2015

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