Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Lamentation

That it was not completely rational made it no less real. That it wasn't returned or fully shared, made it no less true, no less offered or given.

"Lost in Thought" by Stephane Villafane
A dream, a hope, unbound and felt completely can swallow reality, cloud vision, consume being. Lifting your feet off the ground: pulling by desire, alight with belief in possibility, motivated by a want for it to be truth.

When removed, cold and exposed, when the bubble bursts, the fall is more complete than a rational pursuit rendered unreachable. While disappointing, and perhaps mourned, that sought while grounded, with brain engaged, can land with knees bent. We get up, we move on. The risks were known. Options, recoveries, alternates - if not readily available - are conceivable, reachable. We get up. We move on.

Those losses can be accepted more readily than ones propelled by heart beat - your being consumed - your brain rationalizing away or failing to acknowledge reality, all in service of hope. The landing is more devastating with the heart fully engaged, the head an afterthought. That it may not have been completely rational makes the pain no less real, makes hope's destruction no less impactful.
“No one loses their innocence. It is either taken or given away willingly."
~ Tiffany Madison, Black and White
Cynicism occupies, builds, consumes with repeated occurrences. What were you thinking? You should've learned after all. Foolish man. Or perhaps it was just taken, because it could be. Because it was easy to take. That's what you get. You got what you deserved. Or, at least what should've been a possibility considered, acknowledged, prepared for. Don't give yourself away, protect your heart.

That you were not completely rational, makes the scars no less real. That it was never to be and you still pursued, hoped, dreamed, tried ... makes you no less true. But perhaps, over time it simply makes you less. Less you.


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